Wednesday, July 29, 2009

- going bonkers -

i'm going crazy soon..sometimes hope death could save me from all this misery..or another way is to pull through all of this and eventually attain what i had always waited for..because by then..i would have ended all my misery and proven to everyone around me who i truly am..i'm dead tired today..first day working in my aunt's mini mart..had aches all over my body..don't like this feeling..hate naggings..hate hypocrites..especially hypocrites whom i had lived my whole life with..hate naggings from people around me whom had seen me growing up my whole life..

and guess what..currently..i only have a fish as a friend..because mind talking to my grandma is only one sided..she can hear me from another world..but i couldn't hear,see nor feel her in my world..every once in awhile whenever i thought of her..tears fell from my eyes..nobody understands this feeling..no matter how much i explain or try to express out..i seem to be living in my own world..ok back to the fish..hahas..its my uncles orange fish and it lives in a medium sized fish tank outside my room..before the days it jumped out of the tank..i didn't really care about it..it's only the second time of jumping out of the fish tank then i start noticing the fish and tried mind talking to the fish..to me this method works..but on the other hand it might just be coincidences or me thinking it's true..because till now i know when and how it looks like when it is hungry or sleeping..cool right..i think it knows how i feel..because since then it never jumped out of the fish tank again..i do not know whether is it pure coincidence or just my method works..haha..well it's up to you to decide..

beex never ending fairytales- 6:41 AM

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